i need an iv and a liver transplant
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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