He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
