GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
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