I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
