Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
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