the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
