rhymes with "ouble enetration"
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Randomize
