And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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