I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
