You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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