nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
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