she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I just sucked dick on a ferry
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Randomize
