I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize