You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Randomize
