Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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