white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
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