As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
