But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Randomize
