break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
