I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
You need a sexual gate keeper
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize
