I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
