I only kidnapped one of them. chill
this beer tastes like vomit already
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
