some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Randomize
