he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
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