I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
