so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Randomize
