I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
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