So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Randomize
