My nipple is on Facebook.
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Randomize
