She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
Randomize