She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
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