I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
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