Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Randomize
