I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
