Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Randomize
