I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
i think my tv is drunk
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Randomize