I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
be right there i have to get my cape
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Randomize
