Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
