I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Randomize
