Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
