I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
Your message has been received by an unknown user. Picture verification required.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Randomize
