My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Randomize
