He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize
