Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
