Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
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