Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Randomize
