i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
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