let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Randomize
