I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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