evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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