There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
What a dumb baby whore.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
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