She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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