There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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