Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
