We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize