her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
