I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
