You don't have asthma, your pregnant
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
