All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Randomize
