Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
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