Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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