im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize
