This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
