You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Randomize
