Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize