He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize
