Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
