it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
