Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Randomize
