Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
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