Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
