Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
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