I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Randomize
