I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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