ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Randomize
