i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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