He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
