It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize