R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
He? As in you personified your dick?
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize