I wish I could punch you in the face.
margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
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