I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Randomize
