She's JV to your varsity
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
Randomize
