girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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