That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Everclear isn't food dammit
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Shame is for Republicans.
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