my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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