Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
