the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize