I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Randomize
